11.20.14

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by Carmen H Gray 

the waves lapped at the shore

industrial waste in a place

where freshwater meets saltwater

the bright sky viewing a town that feels like a story I’ve written

like time stopped here, somewhere in the 1970’s of my childhood

and it may as well be a repeat of those chaotic times these days

except here I am, a woman now

with a daughter who can celebrate

a date that has past

and here we are

souls brined

hearts preserved

bodies intact

and this is better than any man made holy day to me

 

 

 

 

 

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Today

Today

by Carmen H Gray

 

It’s Easter Sunday and April Fool’s

I came across an old birthday card

A token of a time when I was the perfect mother

In my daughter’s eyes

Before the cancer and the heavy stuff

Before the hormones and the teen angst

Now it’s all eye rolling and pfftsss

You Fool

And families are a funny thing

All those egos parading with divided perspectives

We thought we had already traded them in for prizes

From the fortune cookie wisdom

“You will make great advances in life”

But time is a funny thing, too

One shift in our clutched-tightly-guarding-it-nightly story

And suddenly we are that little child again

From 40 years ago

Finding our footing

Can I just say even if it’s all a joke

I’m so glad to have laughed and cried

And lived and sighed

With you today

 

 

Love In The Time of Everything

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Love In The Time of Everything

by Carmen H Gray

When I was little

I wrote about a heroine

In one of my silly chapter books

Writing and writing

My favorite escape

She had auburn hair

And striking green eyes

I didn’t know

She would materialize

That one day she would

Come to be

And how this little sprite

Would change me so

I did not know

It was not all sugar and spice

It was laughter

But also tears

And tumors and fears

Inward reflection

Rejecting affection

I knew

Love

In the time of the highs

That’s the easy part

But my heroine

Showed me how to find

Love

In the time of the lows

And how the cracks

Are certain signs

Of wholeness

Being born

Pearls to Swine

Pearls to Swine

By Carmen H Gray

 

Don’t throw pearls to swine

He told me

What does that mean?

She asked

Give only to those who deserve you

As the wholeness of you

Shimmers with milky luster parts

Beholden to spectators

Begging for the shelter of your light

Light does not choose where it shines

She said

Or to whom it may fall

Knaves and doves

Are indistinguishable

In the shadows

And each of us can be swine transformed

To a pearl of light

That we once beheld

 

 

 

 

 

Dress Rehearsal

Dress Rehearsal

by Carmen H Gray

All of those longstanding moments

Atoms constantly in motion

A tear that fell from my 6 year old eye

Drops of blood mixed with the headiness of life

Moving with the waves of the ocean

In my teenage years

The wind carrying messages and sighs

That velvet dress I wore when I was 22

That held all of my 44 year old fears

Spans of time in the speed of light

Compressed into the zip drive of my soul

Carrying those original sequences of being

Trails of stardust while standing in the starlight

It was all just in preparation for the here and now

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tangential

Tangential

by Carmen H Gray

 

While you see

That slope

Of the line

Falling

If you stop to touch

New points in space

A rigid line

With limitations

Transforms

Into an arc

Curving into

Infinite directions

 

Hidden

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Hidden

by Carmen H Gray

A reorganization of self

Parts decomposed and restructured

Labor looking like absolute idleness

While in quiet solitude

Cells extoling canticles

Of radical change

 Realizations yet unrealized