art, beauty, ethereal, hope, living, moments, mystics, Uncategorized

The Rich Deep Tones of A Cello

drawing.pearl

drawing by Carmen H Gray

The Rich Deep Tones of A Cello

by Carmen H Gray

I’ve heard it in my dreams

As if he called to me

His voice in that same living tone

Of her beloved instrument

The sound waves echoing from our distant past

An expanding ripple of spheres

That reach across time

Pausing to recapture

The rich, deep tones of a cello

That hold so many memories

She ordered resin today

The parentheses have had their moment

I feel the exhaling of one hundred breaths

 

 

 

art, ethereal, living, moments, mystics, nature

Truth Teller

owl

art & poem by Carmen H Gray

 

Harbinger of Truth

Night Scout

Spirit of the hidden realms

You called out

Before dayspring with its auspicious, tender light

Caught me, heedless in my faraway flight

Who? Who? You asked

And I heard the question

Though I found no origin

Surrounding my perception

What were you foraging?

So attentive to the starkness

A keen awareness to the rustling

Of flight wings in darkness

Harbinger of Truth

Night Scout leave-taking

Giving me pause

As dawn was breaking

Benediction with a farewell sigh

As you moved swiftly

Into the violet-gray sky

 

 

art, hope, letting go, living, moments, time

Dark Night

profile                                                     Art & Poem by Carmen H Gray

I wrote the poem below 25 years ago. Found it today rummaging through old things this morning and it inspired a self-portrait. Although I am quite sensitive/empathic, in all these subsequent years, but especially in the last 5 ones, I have learned how to shore up my psychic boundaries, practice self-care and self-compassion. This has created a firmer foundation for me to explore who I am and what I feel, apart from others around me. It has led me to shed the burdens that I have allowed others to place upon me. In other words, I have a better sense of me. I read this poem now and realize, I no longer feel these emotions. I absolutely can and do sense the grief and heaviness in others, especially I can tap into this during my reiki sessions with my clients. I hear the feelings/experiences that are present in their subconscious.  But, there is no need for me to take on another person’s healing process now. I am there to reflect it, but not to feel it for them. For my own healing unfolded, and for this I am grateful.

Dark Night

To be alert and eyes wide open,

Heart exposed, vulnerable organ that it is,

Is to be both cursed and blessed.

But it is the only way to truly be

To truly live, and see and feel and die.

As I witness sad souls beat down in this world,

My heart feels heavy with the weight of their sorrows

How insignificant it may be, that in my life

I am present when your restless soul seeks

The warmth of another, reaching, hands outstretched, searching, searching…

How common that I mourn for you

When nights are long and painful

The senses are heightened

For every smell is sickening

And even silence is too loud

How simple to share moments of despair

When a blanket of nothingness surrounds you

Groping, blindly for hope

Hope, hope…this is what will save us

Returning to our human condition

Sharing our dark night of the soul

 

art, beauty, hope, living, moments, mystics, nature, time

Autumn

Art and Poetry by Carmen H Gray

Autumn

The clouds opened up in October

Fay beings in my garden

All of the old souls summoned from the cold, misty northlands

Landing hither and thither

On that one flower that overshadows me

It grew from seed, you never know what will happen

When you send seeds forth

Into their future states of being

One might become

The one that surpasses you

To stand in that hushed intermission

Of fluttering souls

All Soul’s ShadowSelves

On a steady path south

To a mountain where I have lingered in this lifetime

art, beauty, ethereal, mystics, time

Thou Art This

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art and poem by Carmen H Gray

 

Tenderly she rivers the night sky

With petals in place of feathers

She moves in body and soul

All strings and stars expanding

Impermeable and eternal

Creation cradled to heart

Beating softly in the enveloped song of Humanity

They are vast as the sky together

Wider than infinite time

Encompassing the yet to be

 

living

Fire and Roses

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*Art by Pierce Gray

Fire and Roses

by Carmen Gray

God is a Woman

-Why?

Because women give birth to life

-Goodnight, my child

I love you

-I love you more

Why is it taking so long to get there?

-I made a wrong turn

It’s okay, even mommies make mistakes

-It doesn’t matter if you win the competition

I don’t want to beat him. He’s my friend

-I love you

I love you more

-Is everything okay?

Time goes so fast, I want it to slow down

-Everything will be alright. We’ll get through it

It hurts. Fuck this life

-It does. I’m sorry

Sometimes I don’t want to wake up

-Sometimes I don’t, either

I’m so mad at you. I hate you

-I’m so mad at you, too.

I’m not going to finish school for anyone else

-Don’t do it for me. Do it for yourself

I will

-Is that a tattoo?

I want to be a tattoo artist

-Put one on me

I want to head West

-I bought you a ticket

I’m scared

-Keep going. I believe in you

I love you

-I love you more

I got a job here!

-I knew you would

I’m sorry if I said mean things to you before

-I’m sorry if I didn’t do everything right

Mom? You’re the gardener, tell me which is best?

-So glad you called me! I like the Ladybug fertilizer

Did you know the female plant is the one with the power? Makes sense, right?

-Yeah, it does

I love you

-I love you more

 

 

 

Uncategorized

Avalina

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“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul And sings the tune without the words and never stops at all.”-Emily Dickinson

Avalina’s Tree

By Carmen H Gray

Once upon a time

You and I took a brush

To the back of your door

And created a haven for colorful birds

To rest and flitter about

A world for your mind to step into

When you were young

Avalina, my child in flight

Always traversing new territory

Uncategorized

A Beautiful Facade

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Sensitive people faced with the prospect of a camera portrait put on a face they think is the one they would like to show to the world… Every so often what lies behind the facade is rare and more wonderful than the subject knows or dares to believe.

A Beautiful Facade

by Carmen H Gray

Smash it to pieces

The False Face

You wear

To hide

The soft underbelly

The Shadow Self

Rather, the Real Self

We are all Hypocrites

Underneath

The Perfect Portrait

The paint on the canvas

You find

A blank space

The undeveloped opacity

Of newness

And boundless possibility

Uncategorized

Keep Paying It Forward

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I took my son and his friend to Half Price Books so they could spend some Christmas money during the after Christmas holiday sale (everything was 20% off).  They were having fun searching for albums….vinyl is making such a huge comeback…..good thing we held onto some albums and a very cool vintage turntable for all these years.  What goes around comes back around eventually.

While I was perusing the R&B section, I listened to a guy go on and on to his friend about how much he loved Sade and a couple of other artists.  I found myself next to him at the register when we were checking out.  I overheard him ask the cashier to hold onto his scores until the 31st, when he would get paid.  They weren’t that much (to me), but to him they were and he seemed so happy about finding them. He walked off to go read a book. I asked the cashier to bring over the albums on hold and she told me, “oh, we can’t sell those, they are on hold for someone.”  “But I want to buy them for him.”  “oh, oh….I get it”, she smiled.  My son and his friend said, “do you know that guy?  What are you doing?”.  “She’s paying it forward, guys,” the cashier told them.  We walked over to the unsuspecting man.  “Merry Belated Christmas!”  I told him and handed him his present.  “What?  You got these for me?  Thank you so much!”  He smiled a fabulous smile and hugged me.  On the walk back to the car my son and his friend said, “that was awesome!”  “yes, it was”, I told them, “Life is circular, like a record. What goes around, comes around. Be kind.”….and besides, I love Sade.