letting go



by Carmen H Gray

I know what it is to lift

And dissipate into the great Nothingness

Where zero is Nothing and Everything

The Light that never goes out

I have spun in that void

With absolute fearlessness

All sense of gravity gone

As if in one tiny profound moment

I escaped the man made time dimension

To see that we knew death

Before we knew life

Absolute nothing encompassing everything




living, nature

A Soft Cosh

“Above the cloud with its shadow is the star with its light.”

A Soft Cosh

by Carmen H Gray

Two ends meet

Where one side

Is congruent to the other

Twin sides feel

The heavy pull

Bringing the center point

To the same place each time

Whether it be

The delicate silver chain of today

Or the mauve-colored silk string of yesterday

It falls upon you


Each time


letting go, Uncategorized



“She’s got some sort of notion in her head concerning the eternal rights of women.”
―Kate Chopin, The Awakening


by Carmen H Gray

Pretty goes south

You need that face

And that pouty mouth

To win the winsome

Fuck that noise

I don’t care

If you stare

I don’t care

If you think I’m rude

Call me a witch

Call me lewd

Summon up that bitch

That whore

That hussy

That crusty old woman

You wouldn’t cum in

That delicate flower

Contains so much power

And blood and life

The maid, the wife

Has come undone

Like a stray note

From a faraway song

A lie written and rote

Doesn’t right a wrong

Smash it to pieces

With each tiny fragment

The music releases

Sing it proud

That faraway song

From centuries gone

Let it move through you

Beyond expansive space

They cannot erase

All that we are

All that we’ve been

All that we’ve given

Our powerful rhythm








hope, letting go, living, Uncategorized

Combined Mass


Combined Mass

by Carmen H Gray


Those tears flowed

They were from the eyes

Of a little girl I knew

I saw glimpses of

Incarnations of You

Folded into my arms

What sorrow’s songs are enacting

Heartstring disarms

Revealing a reflection

Molting, transmuting

An old wound demands recollection

In one form or another

Study it, hold it

Protect it like a mother

Or, like the mother who you had to protect

Release, let go

Put it with the other baggage you’ve checked

All of the combined mass

Of a grief held stationary

Set into motion at last


















hope, letting go

White Light

White Light

by Carmen H Gray


Quiet space

It is that empty side of the home

I keep finding in my dreams

The part I am afraid to explore

Where room after room

Nothing feels right

Things are distorted, broken

I rush to find the back door

Unlocked, unguarded

Leaving me terrified

That I have left a part of myself


But this time

I pause to find

It is my sanctuary

Unexplored space

Potential energy

White light that contains

A spectrum of colors

You can only see

From the right angle







“It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.”– from The Invitation by Oriah


by Carmen H Gray

What makes you smile?

Not one of those fake, necessary smiles

Rather, one of those no-strings-attached ones

Unadulterated. No filter. Just elated.

Like a leaf. Or a stone.

Something natural, of the earth

Blood and bone

Cells and tissues

Something real that issues


What makes you see?

Not the black and white scenes on display

Rather, the full spectrum of prismatic hues

Technicolor and Kodachrome.

Refracted light and shade

Something that cannot be portrayed

By anyone else but you









“Love is not blind. I see with single eye
Your ugliness and other women’s grace.”-Edna St. Vincent Millay


by Carmen H Gray

There is a collective fascination

Of the facade of the flawless

Maybe because it is a myth

We aim to maintain

The perfect plastic smiles

Parading by us


But what fascinated you

About me

Were the little broken capillaries

The port wine stain

The red blotch

The broken bits

That I wanted to hide

From the made up world