Love In The Time of Everything

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Love In The Time of Everything

by Carmen H Gray

When I was little

I wrote about a heroine

In one of my silly chapter books

Writing and writing

My favorite escape

She had auburn hair

And striking green eyes

I didn’t know

She would materialize

That one day she would

Come to be

And how this little sprite

Would change me so

I did not know

It was not all sugar and spice

It was laughter

But also tears

And tumors and fears

Inward reflection

Rejecting affection

I knew


In the time of the highs

That’s the easy part

But my heroine

Showed me how to find


In the time of the lows

And how the cracks

Are certain signs

Of wholeness

Being born





by Carmen H Gray

The future is yours my darling

An open field that runs horizontal

To your brightest light that reflects

Spread out from the prism of your mind

Perhaps you couldn’t see it my love

Obscured by its very enormity or your own

Running past the well-favored wild heather

Pearl white, emblem of luck and protection

It matters not the tumbles taken, my darling

Only that you keep pressing onward

With certain pauses along the way

For even in hushed stillness

Lies undeniable evolution












cancer, letting go



by Carmen H Gray


In the bath that night

When your hair of coppery wine

Fell out without a fight

Your cells committing suicide

A part of me died, too

They all told me, “this is hardest on the mother”

But I kept up appearances for you

I held in the fears and tears for the sake of others

Keep them all in smiles

Don’t disappoint

Hide the real hardship, the trials

Stay on point

The malignancies in both of us

Were put to rest

Releasing me from the superfluous

All that I had suppressed

In my long-running attempts to be infallible

Liberating me from my selfhood

Learning that the real “me” is valuable

Beyond a perfectly imperfect motherhood






“There are two ways of spreading light. To be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it.” – Edith Wharton.


by Carmen H Gray

The bright light that scintillates

From you

 Illuminates the book that narrates

your life

Glowing girl

Exuberant and fierce

Margarite, an ancient pearl

Born of protection

From assailants

You are not a reflection

You are the flare

That lights up my world

 In every way, everywhere