hope, letting go, living

Little

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“I wish I had never got manic depression. When I was in junior high, I didn’t know what was the matter with me. It was as if I’d died or something.”-Daniel Johnston

Little

by Carmen H Gray

Do you know how much I love you so?

Your sweet black curls and those dimpled cheeks

Thank you for letting me dress you up like the little sister I never had

When you were toddling around me in our innocent years

Thank you for shooting that hurt little dying bird

In our backyard and we both wanted to put it out of its misery

I knew it was hard for you and I saw that tear

And later still, in that 14th year

I’m sorry I couldn’t save you from your mind

Do you know how much I cried?

Do you know how hard I tried?

Do you know how much laughter you gave me, too?

All of the ways you saw the world were new

Thank you for breaking open that elevator door when my baby girl was stuck insideĀ 

You didn’t stop to think about the rules of property damage

All you knew was that my little girl was crying and stuck

And you knew how that felt and didn’t give a fuck

About the consumeristic things in this world

You wanted her to be free

Just like I want you to be