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    • hands

      February 13th, 2021

      hands by Carmen H Gray

      the ice was crisp and forming

      on the leaves of my plants

      i had tended

      i knew each leaf, each flower

      i could almost feel their cells,

      filling with tiny shards of ice

      cutting them open and destroying plant tissue

      which made me grieve their deaths

      but it wasn’t until i saw that man

      on the side of the road

      whose delicate cells were simultaneously dying

      that my heart leapt outside of my chest

      on this icy day

      in this tale of two cities

      brimming with the new Elon Musks

      and the homeless, what a juxtaposition

      the last part of his body i noticed

      were his hands

      which could have belonged to any one of us, really

    • The Healing House

      November 18th, 2020

      “Before you can hear, much less follow, the voice of your soul, you have to win back your body. You have to go on a pilgrimage beneath the skin.”

      ―Meggan Watterson, Reveal

      The Healing House

      by Carmen H Gray

      one day they may come back to you

      have your prepared yourself anew?

      have you gone on your own pilgrimage?

      have you faced your very own umbrage?

      for when these lessons return to know

      the breadth and depth of your adagio

      this is when all is revealed

      the stalwart strength in your shield

      the gentle bend that did not break

      regardless of the commanding quake

      you will then come to find

      that in the midst of all that time

      the stumbles and the thorns helped form

      a compelling foundation to transform

      your healing home inside of you

      a precious place of highest value

      it never stops until you end

      the effort put forth to transcend

      each new lesson to teach you more

      that is what a healing house is for

    • The Light that Pervades All Things

      November 12th, 2020

      “Whether you worship Christ, Krishna, Kali or Allah, you actually worship the one Light that is also in you, since It pervades all things.”

      ― Anandamayi Ma

      The Light That Pervades All Things

      by Carmen H Gray

      Within you there is a light

      It has a certain miraculous quality that gives it momentum

      To traverse the stars

      To change the course of any path

      Simply by beaming

      To act upon anything beyond itself

      Creating dynamic evolution

      You can find it in the strangest moments

      Washing someone’s hair

      Learning a language

      Pausing to breathe

      Noticing the layers in a single rose

      Listening to the crickets chirping in the night

      Or the frogs singing their chorus

      Seeing yourself

      Seeing others

      In other words, living

      Not just merely surviving

      Lends itself to shining

      The Light That Pervades All Things

    • Phantom Dog

      September 5th, 2020

      Phantom Dog

      by Carmen H Gray

      Why does it hurt so much?

      You having to leave?

      Perhaps your existence is a metaphor

      Your eyes mirroring all of the humanness

      That we experienced in a certain set of years

      A living/dying time capsule

      God gave us such creatures to teach us

      How to hold space

      How to pause time and embrace

      A lifetime of lessons

      A dog’s life being a condensed version

      Some creatures are here to fast forward

      And simultaneously flashback

      Our perception of an era.

    • Teach

      May 12th, 2020

      Screen Shot 2020-05-12 at 12.55.11 PM

      Teach

      by Carmen H Gray

      I rushed to sort it all out: 14 years of 28 gone by

      As I piled more things to the side for goodbye

      There wasn’t enough time to go through it all

      I glanced at the artwork, left lonely on the wall

      I sighed and I conjured up all that I’d taught

      And little nuances that each of us brought

      To this space confined between four walls

      And even beyond that, into the halls

      I heard the sniffles with tears, the children who needed healing

      I also heard laughter, the “hello, Ms. Gray’s,” while excitedly squealing

      I packed it all up-those sights and those sounds

      I headed outside to the gardens and grounds

      Where the rosemary was named and the aloe was tended

      Where the fig tree was climbed and fairy houses blended

      Into the rocks, the acorns, and where the leaves unfurled

      This is where little hands created imaginary worlds

      And I kept the sadness locked up, not revealing

      When my son saw me and asked how I was feeling

      So I told him the school, his school, was going away

      I glimpsed at his face, the boyhood cheeks gave way

      To a chiseled, grown up profile

      He looked at me with a smile

      Though still lost in my thoughts, and feeling distracted

      He gently said,

      “Mama, just think of how many lives you’ve impacted”

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

    • I AM-NESS

      May 7th, 2020

      “The intuition of the moral sentiment is an insight of the perfection of the laws of the soul. These laws execute themselves. They are out of time, out of space, and not subject to circumstance.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson

      I Am-Ness

      by Carmen H Gray

       

      I Am-ness is letting the whole

      be made up of all Parts

      The parts we wish to project

      The parts we wish to protect

      I Am-Ness is the absence of division

      Or Duality

      It is all knowing, all being, all light, all love, all truth

      It is everything and nothing in the blink of an eye

      It is the symbiotic receptacle of the space between space

      It is loving, when it is hard to love

      It is seeing from the pinnacle into the valley below

      I Am-Ness is possibility that we are changing into reality

       

       

    • The Rich Deep Tones of A Cello

      February 23rd, 2020

      drawing.pearl

      drawing by Carmen H Gray

      The Rich Deep Tones of A Cello

      by Carmen H Gray

      I’ve heard it in my dreams

      As if he called to me

      His voice in that same living tone

      Of her beloved instrument

      The sound waves echoing from our distant past

      An expanding ripple of spheres

      That reach across time

      Pausing to recapture

      The rich, deep tones of a cello

      That hold so many memories

      She ordered resin today

      The parentheses have had their moment

      I feel the exhaling of one hundred breaths

       

       

       

    • From A Dream

      January 19th, 2020

      “A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”-Oscar Wilde

      From A Dream

      by Carmen H Gray

      You and I, we made such vagaries of the mind

      We called ourselves by unrelated names

      And wandered into an altered world, where our ages

      Were neither young nor old, nor anything in between

      As if we were ageless, we were

      I saw you writing and you watched me daydreaming in this distant place

      I could not remember who I was anymore

      As if I had disintegrated into no one, but everyone at once

      And you were there to witness such an existence

      What strange lives we have lived together

      Thought I

       

    • Truth Teller

      December 1st, 2019

      owl

      art & poem by Carmen H Gray

       

      Harbinger of Truth

      Night Scout

      Spirit of the hidden realms

      You called out

      Before dayspring with its auspicious, tender light

      Caught me, heedless in my faraway flight

      Who? Who? You asked

      And I heard the question

      Though I found no origin

      Surrounding my perception

      What were you foraging?

      So attentive to the starkness

      A keen awareness to the rustling

      Of flight wings in darkness

      Harbinger of Truth

      Night Scout leave-taking

      Giving me pause

      As dawn was breaking

      Benediction with a farewell sigh

      As you moved swiftly

      Into the violet-gray sky

       

       

    • Dark Night

      November 28th, 2019

      profile                                                     Art & Poem by Carmen H Gray

      I wrote the poem below 25 years ago. Found it today rummaging through old things this morning and it inspired a self-portrait. Although I am quite sensitive/empathic, in all these subsequent years, but especially in the last 5 ones, I have learned how to shore up my psychic boundaries, practice self-care and self-compassion. This has created a firmer foundation for me to explore who I am and what I feel, apart from others around me. It has led me to shed the burdens that I have allowed others to place upon me. In other words, I have a better sense of me. I read this poem now and realize, I no longer feel these emotions. I absolutely can and do sense the grief and heaviness in others, especially I can tap into this during my reiki sessions with my clients. I hear the feelings/experiences that are present in their subconscious.  But, there is no need for me to take on another person’s healing process now. I am there to reflect it, but not to feel it for them. For my own healing unfolded, and for this I am grateful.

      Dark Night

      To be alert and eyes wide open,

      Heart exposed, vulnerable organ that it is,

      Is to be both cursed and blessed.

      But it is the only way to truly be

      To truly live, and see and feel and die.

      As I witness sad souls beat down in this world,

      My heart feels heavy with the weight of their sorrows

      How insignificant it may be, that in my life

      I am present when your restless soul seeks

      The warmth of another, reaching, hands outstretched, searching, searching…

      How common that I mourn for you

      When nights are long and painful

      The senses are heightened

      For every smell is sickening

      And even silence is too loud

      How simple to share moments of despair

      When a blanket of nothingness surrounds you

      Groping, blindly for hope

      Hope, hope…this is what will save us

      Returning to our human condition

      Sharing our dark night of the soul

       

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